I never would, but if I did ...

DJ's got a kitchen knife that's so sharp you could shave with it. I know, because I tried and I did.


It's a Cutco and it's dreadfully expensive. A complete set costs something like $1100, which I'd never spend on kitchen knives, but Cutco cutlery is out of this world. Comes with a lifetime sharpening warranty to boot.

The new Blue Book?

While I'm sitting at the command & control console, waiting to be teleported to AVICLUB.US headquarters for an important conference, here's what's on today's agenda for discussion.

Some of the text messages I get are funnier and far more interesting than anything I can think of to blog about here. My idea is to port my Inbox straight into new posts here at The Blue Book, and dispense with original posting entirely.

For example ... messages I've received from different people on different days with completely different subjects:

Do you ever get a crush on the idea of someone not the person? 12:30 am

Wish u were here 8:27 am

Turn u're phone on- it's time 4 for my session 8:48 am

Ah. Sitting, waiting, wishing. I knew the dance well. 3:36 pm

Do you like green eggs and ham? 3:50 pm

Depends on if you have a girl over at the house. 8:28 pm

What r u doing 8:59 pm

Awww! 9:33 pm

Do a ditty bob ditty b00 - u r right again 11:37 pm

Tell me something about yourself you've never told anyone else

If I get one more myspace message, or even a personal email asking me that question, I'm gonna think seriously about deleting that person's account and purging their address forever.

Maybe this will be one of the posts I look back on later and think, "What was I thinking when I posted that?"

But right now I'm missing the Super Bowl (waiting for tonight's Playlist to burn to CD) so I'll slide this one in ... and hope nobody notices until it's buried deep within The Blue Book archives.

Here's something I'll bet ya didn't know about me: I'm not into boobs. It's true. Maybe I'm the only guy on the planet, but there it is.

So I guess that's all: now you know everything there is to know that I haven't forgotten.

Uh oh. My cell just called me on the house number, I'm not kidding. Both phones are sitting by themselves in plain view on the desk. Can anyone explain how that happened?

Se neno, ninakufahamu -updated with links

Mighty to Save - McD and the band
Word of God Speak - Mc D [acoustic]
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Usiku mwema. Lala salama, marafiki.

Sat Nite Wind-Down

Snow, ice and inclement weather (including frog rain) doesn't much bother us here at Blue Book Central, because we've got passive solar electrical generators and thermal nodes deep underground to keep the power going.

We're also powered by PCs, you see.


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I keep wanting to tell you about Bill, but ...
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Anyway, you scream I scream we all scream for some disco, so ...

"The Artful Dodger's It's A Snook Saturday" Playlist:

West End Girls - Pet Shop
I Feel Love - Donna Summer
Last Dance - Donna Summer
MacArthur Park - Donna Summer [I dare you ...]

I get really ticked when ...

Stuff I really hate Department

- Going all day without getting a single new e-mail

- People who don't return messages or phone calls

- Having my facebook "Invite Friend" requests rejected or ignored

- People who blab for hours about nothing once they've got you on the phone

- Being rushed

- People who are wishy-washy, especially about critical details

- Complacency

-Being told No!

- Finding out I've got 600 e-mails waiting to be opened

- Feeling obligated to return messages and phone calls

- People I can't stand expecting me to be their myspace "friend"

- People who act as though talking to me on the phone is a chore

- Running late

- People who are inflexible, especially when I could care less

- Overachievers

- Being told Yes!

Why is this man angry?

Man. I haven't seen a mug this angry since the last time I forgot my driver's license and tried paying with an out-of-state check in the Express Lane at Walmart on a Saturday night in south Georgia.

What on earth could possibly cause this type of unrepentent rage? Well, there's just one reason:

This fellow, who shall remain nameless, owns an Apple. Apples come in different colors and flavors but real computers, they are not.

But How Does It Taste?

-from Canada.com

Would you eat a 167-year old wedding cake?

"Pieces of Queen Victoria's wedding cake will go on display as part of an exhibition on royal weddings from 1840 to 1947 to celebrate the Queen's diamond anniversary this year, palace officials said.

"The slices will be on display for a year starting April 27 in small boxes, one cardboard, another silver, marked "Buckingham Palace February 10, 1840" - the date of Victoria's marriage to Prince Albert.

"They are from one of the couple's several wedding cakes, the largest of which measured three metres across and weighed more than 135 kilograms [297 pounds]."

Hmmm. Pretty sure I've got stuff in the back of my fridge much older than that.

NFL Tackles Churches

-from CBS Sportsline.com

In suburban Chicago, Poplar Creek Church plans to host about 100 people to watch Sunday's Super Bowl game on a big-screen TV in the sanctuary. Pines Baptist Church north of Miami plans to host flag football games before guests gather to eat and watch Sunday's Colts-Bears game, Pastor Luis Acosta said.

In Indianpolis, Calvary Temple Church planned a Sunday shindig for about 100 young adults, complete with snacks and a big screen TV to watch Sunday's Super Bowl.

But temple leaders scrapped the idea after learning the NFL stopped a similar get-together at another Indianapolis church, saying it would violate copyright laws.

"I didn't realize the Super Bowl was a copyrighted thing," business manager Bill Kaler said.

Roger Goodell and the NFL want separation of Church and Super Bowl. (AP)

NFL spokesman Greg Aiello said these gatherings are fine, as long as the churches stay within certain guidelines. That's where Fall Creek Baptist Church in Indianapolis went wrong.

The church planned to charge admission to cover the food tab for its party and show the game on a big screen using a projector. It also promoted its "Super Bowl bash" on the church website.

Those are copyright no-no's.

A Day Off from The Blue Book

Yetserday afternoon I tried typing a text message into the garage door opener ... so taking today off from The Blue Book seems like a good idea.

This is worth sharing and a great way to start the weekend:

"I am so SAD about the people I have met that are incredibly gifted and talented, but are in financial bondage! I KNOW that they could be able to go do exactly what they were made to do in just a few short months or years if they would just take the time to fix their finances. I KNOW that they would be doing exactly what God put them on earth to do! I KNOW that I would see them at their finest - at their most alive point in life - if they would just eliminate the financial stress and go do the very thing they were put on earth to accomplish!"

Nothing to blog about - Updated

I'm not even gonna say what this is, except that (a) It happened around 7:40 this morning (b) I was occupied on the phone with FF (c) I was trying to strike a wood match a second time, without looking first to see if it was already lit.

Yes Virginia, there is a match head stuck (maybe more like welded) to my finger. At least there was a match head in my fingertip ... it fell off about 4 hours later, leaving hardly a mark.

You kids out there, Joe Is A Professional. Don't try this at home.

Snow photos

I don't own a digital camera, and used my little Sony mini-dv camcorder to capture a few stills this morning.