Sorry, I'm just a little stuck around the edges

No matter what you may think of my skills (or aptitude) as a marine mechanic/plumber/electrician, I'd be the very first to tell you I'm really not very good at spreading goo.

Whether it's 3M 5200 adhesive, caulk, silicone, JB Weld, Bondo, di-electric compound, fiberglass resin or carpenter's glue, I'm genetically pre-disposed to doing a horrifically bad job and making a big mess.  But being ever-optimistic, I don't let that stop me from trying.

So yesterday afternoon I mixed up a big heapin' batch of white marine epoxy and began touching up some of the little nicks, scratches, pinholes and gouges in Calypso's fiberglass hull. 

To make a long story short, it's been almost 32 hours since I stopped working and cast my epoxy spatula aside.  And since then, I've been finding traces of white epoxy in the most unlikely places.  It keeps showing up in places where you'd never expect to see it.

On the rims of drinking glasses, on TV remotes, keys, door handles, tools and in my nose.  I can't help wondering Where did that come from? even though I can't hide from the answer:  White epoxy could only come from one source ... me.

Yes sir, sin is like that, too.  Even if you think other people can't see it, sin has a way of sticking to everything it touches, and showing up where you'd least expect to see it.  Sin separates us from God.

And like a bad epoxy job, sin can't be blamed on anyone else.

My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.

- 1 John 2:1

Something to do tomorrow morning before the New Spring web campus goes live

If you haven't already visited, be sure to catch tomorrow's 11:15 service on the New Spring web campus.

___________________________________________________________________

If you're a returning visitor, then you probably can't wait to catch the next message in the I Want A New Marriage series and you'll be watching the seconds tick off long before 11:15 AM.

And if you've already visited and think the web campus is the most exciting thing to happen to the internet since the dial-up modem, chances are you'll be up at 6:00 AM and staring at your computer screen (watching the seconds tick off till 11:15 AM).

And if you're up at 6 AM, have already prayed, had breakfast, walked the dog, read Campus Pastor Nick's blog, downloaded and printed the study guide, checked out the web campus blog, had two double espressos, e-mailed links to Perry's blog to all your friends and start getting fidgety, grab your binoculars and take a look up at the sky.

Because folks in the 29624* area code can catch a glimpse of the lost $100,000 International Space Station tool bag as it floats by, 150 miles in orbit overhead.  Here's where and when to look:

Here's a video of the backpack-sized tool bag in orbit:

And while you're gazing up into that big, infinite sky, if you start wondering "What's my role?" or "Where do I fit in the universe?" then please take time to remember "Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows."

Come and see what God has done, 
       how awesome his works in man's behalf!

- Psalm 66:5

* Tool bag gazing times for other zip codes available here.

Evolution explains why we have dandruff

(Thursday blog lite)

Today is Charles Darwin(12 February 1809- 19 April 1882)'s birthday.  Darwin is considered the father of evolution, which not only purports to explain how apes became humans, but also why humans get dandruff.

Say again?

It's true.  Dandruff is largely the result of sebum and sebaceous secretions (skin oil).  According to evolution, oily skin is a leftover from the days when our genetic ancestors began losing scales, but still needed a little waterproofing ... the same reason why ducks got oil glands and feathers.

On the big evolutionary scale I guess we should feel lucky we got dandruff, instead of feathers.

I mean, most of us.

Would you go to a church where the pastor didn't know your name?

I've heard a lot of remarks like that ... implying that because of the sheer size of the congregation, mega-churches are impersonal, which hints that members can't get a full measure of "pastoral care."  

Another comment I've heard is "When I die, I wanna know who's doing my funeral."

I don't think any one can ever really know that, and besides, by the time the occasion comes around, will you really care?  ("Excuse me Lord, but before I get moved into my mansion, can I take a peek down there and make sure the right guy's preaching my funeral?")

Now pretend like it's my turn, and I'll ask a different question:

- Would you belong to and participate in a church where the pastor knows your name ... but doesn't like you?

What?!  How can a man call himself a pastor and not like every single person in the congregation?  If I even suspected that was true, why in the world would I want to keep going- and giving my money- to a church led by somebody who didn't like me?  Just give me one good reason.

That one reason would be Because God wants you there.

And unlike folks who're always finding something about church to complain and gripe about, God's never once been wrong, changed his mind or made a mistake.

Religious Porn

This morning I saw a video posted at youtube that described my pastor as a "goat herder" who delivered "a purpose-driven scolding" to his congregation.

What was my reaction? I felt incensed and cross-eyed with ire at such a purposeful and dishonest misrepresentation.  After watching it three or four times, I downloaded the file to my drive ...  for "future reference" ... so I can watch it again and again, any time, and amuse myself whenever the mood hits.

Then my anger began fading as the novelty wore off and I got curious about finding more material like it.  Why?  Just so I could see what the critics are saying.  For entertainment purposes, you see.

I won't include the link here, but the same youtube poster maintains a virtual museum of videos "to show you what happens when the church does not remain faithful to correct preaching and teaching of the scriptures."  

I strongly disagree with that self-righteous assessment of his efforts, but ventured into the museum regardless ... and the more I watched his anonymous assaults (and there are plenty), the more angry and aroused I became.  Passionate, even, to jump on his assumptions and start wailing away on his smugness.

But then I stopped and asked myself, "Why on earth are you even watching this stuff?"

And I realized the answer is easy: because videos like that amount to religious porn ... because pornography is any lurid, sensational material intended to titillate or to cause arousal ... which exactly describes my anger-reaction to seeing it.

--  --  --

"Religion" is often confused with Faith, especially when religion replaces Faith and becomes man's attempt to reach up to God and achieve salvation.  But salvation isn't available, nor can it be earned, through any religion: Salvation is only through Christ and his sacrifice on the cross ... because God reached down to us.

-- -- --

So is this virtual museum of idolatry (and bloggers attempting to create acclaim for themselves by tearing down other believers and blistering their pastors) serving God and making the name of Jesus Christ famous ... or merely creating dissension in the body by peddling sanctimonious smut?

Sharing the gospel worldwide at the speed of light

New Spring's web campus is online, streaming live at 11:15 AM and 6:15 PM EDT.

What's a "web campus" all about?  Think of it as a way to attend New Spring Church live, via your computer and internet connection, no matter where you are in the world.  Today more than 600 people in eight different countries attended.  Stop for a moment, and think what that means.

You might be shrugging and thinking, "How's watching church on a computer different from watching church on TV?" or  "So what?  No matter what you call it, an internet church still isn't the same thing as going to a real church."

What's different about the New Spring web campus?

Read what Internet Campus Pastor Nick Charalambous wrote last week at Ipiphanist, following the web campus launch:

They were at church. It was just online. And they need the church to stop arguing about whether they were really there and just figure out how we can be the church online for them; how we can help each other love God, love others and make disciples.

The web has changed social arrangements forever. We cannot argue about that any longer.

In post-Christian Europe, local churches everywhere are being shut down and turned into luxury condos or bars. Physical, bricks-and-mortar church holds little to no meaning other than prejudice and anachronism for hundreds of millions of people.

We would be sinning against Christ and his sacrifice on the cross to turn our backs on them.

I plan to charge the gates of hell with our Web Campus. Who’s with me?

2000 years ago Christ said the gates of Hades will not overcome his church, and that "I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven.  Whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven."

I sincerely believe the internet campus is the greatest means of sharing the gospel and reaching people for Christ we've had since Gutenburg's press.

And like Nick said, it would be a sin against Christ to let the gift of such an opportunity go to waste.

Perry's Sunday Night Reflections from Kenya

- from perrynoble.com

Hey!!!  Found another place with internet and just wanted to report on a few things…

• I MISS MY WIFE AND DAUGHTER!!! 
• I miss my friends at church! 

Now that I have that out of the way…this trip has been amazing.  God has used it to stretch me WAY beyond anything I have ever experienced!  I am WAY out of my comfort zone…and that is a good thing. 

The past several days have opened up my eyes to a world that I never imagined existed.  Sure, I’ve heard the stories and seen the pictures…but being here and seeing what I’ve seen, hearing what I’ve heard and smelling what I have smelled has forever marked me! 

I take so much for granted.  I walk into the kitchen and turn a faucet on and…BAM…water.  Yesterday I visited an area where women go and get water four and five times a day…and words can’t even describe the hill they have to climb just to get water! 

We’ve visted several schools and spent some time with a lot of kids…and I don’t think I’ve cried this much in a long time.  They have joy like I’ve never seen!  They dance…they sing…they laugh…it’s amazing.  When we walk into a community they walk up to us and hold our hands and won’t let go until we leave. 

Yesterday I saw a pile of bottle caps outside of a home and realized that they were the only toys the kids in that house had to play with…it broke my heart. 

Today I visited a church…and as soon as they found out I was a preacher they asked me to preach!  It was…uh…interesting…and fun!  The pastor interpreted for me…and I spoke on Ephesians 3:20.  I loved it…seriously…I was way out of my comfort zone…but that is exactly where God wanted me to be!

Their offering time…UNBELIEVABLE.  These people have nothing (according to American standards) and yet they give…and give generously.  Many of them do not know where their next meal is coming from…yet they give from what they have and trust God to provide! 

OK…it is about time for dinner.  (I haven’t had dessert since I’ve been here except for a chocolate bar today!  In fact, if it were not for Cliff Energy Bars I might not be alive…I have eaten them nearly every day for breakfast and lunch!) 

NewSpring…I miss you!  AND I am so excited because I know that God wants us to POUR into a community over here and make a difference.  Please continue to pray for the team and I as we have a few more things to do.  We are excited about a safari that we get to go on Tuesday morning.  I hope I get to see a lion! 

We are so blessed!  My prayer for all of us who read this blog is that at some point today we would take the time to thank Jesus for the things we take for granted. 

One more thing…this is one of the most BEAUTIFUL places on the planet! 

OK…gotta eat!!! 

56-yr old Aspen Woman Swims the Atlantic

SAN JUAN, Puerto Rico — Jennifer Figge pressed her toes into the Caribbean sand, exhilarated and exhausted as she touched land this week for the first time in almost a month.

Reaching a beach in Trinidad, she became the first woman on record to swim across the Atlantic Ocean _ a dream she'd had since the early 1960s, when a stormy trans-Atlantic flight got her thinking she could don a life vest and swim the rest of the way if needed.

The 56-year-old left the Cape Verde Islands off Africa's western coast on Jan. 12, battling waves of up to 30 feet (9 meters) and strong winds.

"My dog doesn't know where I am," she told The Associated Press on Saturday by phone. "It's time for me to get back home to Hank."

-source here

The pirates are coming, the pirates are here

-photo from www2.tbo.com

Yesterday was Gaparilla, when pirates invade Tampa and demand the keys to the city.  Check out the video here.

Arrrrrg!

Picadillo

Made from scratch; served over Goya yellow rice.

PS.


Cinnamon rolls.

Thinking really, really outside the box: the Presto Pizzazz

Or at least, outside the pizza box.

So what's the contraption pictured above? It's a pizza oven.

I found the Presto 03430 Pizzazz Pizza Oven on Amazon while trying to find a compact toaster/convection oven to replace Calypso's I Love Lucy-era tabletop oven (which gave far more yeoman service before dying than its $40 price tag suggested).

The Pizzazz will cook a 12" frozen pizza in about half the time required by conventional ovens, and priced at just $45.93 with a 4.5 star rating after 274 reviews, the 03430 looks like a steal.

With that kind of innovative design and execution, it's too bad Presto doesn't make cars.

Unjust Enrichment

"Unjust enrichment is a legal term denoting a particular type of causative event in which one party is unjustly enriched at the expense of another, and an obligation to make restitution arises, regardless of liability for wrongdoing." - wiki

But as believers, we're talking about a different kind of unjust enrichment: it's enrichment in Christ ... through a debt that can never be repaid.

Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?"

Simon replied, "I suppose the one who had the bigger debt canceled." 

"You have judged correctly," Jesus said.

- Luke 7:42-43

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace

- Ephesians 1:7

And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

- Phillipians 4:19