Thursday, June 4, 2009

How to be The #1 Boss



1.  Avoid interaction and discussion by issuing condescending commands: all you need to know about your subordinates is that they're weak, spineless and treacherous.

2.  Guarantee performance by instilling fear.

3.  Avoid personal friendships: Intimidation and Antagonism are your only friends.

4.  Avoid asking others for input or suggestions: communication is a one-way street.

5.  Everyone is a subordinate, and therefore deserves being ridiculed and belittled.

6.  Subordinates appreciate cliches more than they do your thanks or appreciation.

7.  Never forget: Everyone wants your job, Everyone is envious of your title and prestige,  Everyone will stab you in the back at the first opportunity and Everyone is out to get you.

9.  People learn quickest from humiliation.

10.  It is impossible for you to make a mistake, to not grasp the big picture or to ever issue unclear instructions.