Whether it's "I had a bad childhood" or "You don't know what my life's been like" or "Just look what divorce did to me" every explanation for unpleasant behavior boils down to one word.
Excuse.
But there is no excuse: you may as well walk into your local bank and tell the loan officer, "I deserve this loan because of what happened to me," or apply for a job and inform your would-be boss, "After what's happened to me, life owes me this job."
Does that sound callous or insensitive?
Think about the situation this way. Explaining to other folks that "You don't know what I've endured" comes across as a demand or, at best, an entitlement: "I've suffered more humiliation and unfairness in my life than you; therefore life owes me special consideration and something to settle the score."
That attitude toward life is like self-curing cement poured out in a field: once the first layer has set the eventual structure can only harden into a shapeless pile ... lacking a foundation or a plan to be anything else.
