Things had been going so well recently, too. Four days without wearing a knee brace, four days of walking without worrying my left knee might give out with no warning, four nights without waking up feeling like a steel pin had suddenly replaced my kneecap. But then ...
What happened? Was there something I'd done? More precisely, what went wrong?
I don't know, but I can say that I got a firm and vivid reminder that walking upright, unassisted and pain-free isn't something we should ever take for granted.
After almost nine months of trying and waiting I was beginning to think my injury had healed. After four solid days of being totally pain-free, I started thinking Hey, I'm all well!
But guess what. The reality of the experience proved that what I think doesn't matter too much.
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Sometimes I used to wish that I'd had a "Road to Damascus" experience like Paul's.
Once upon a time I badly wished Jesus had arrived in a bright ball of light, knocked me to my knees, appeared to me in the flesh and called out my name in a deafening roar of thunder. That way I'd know he was real because I had seen.
That didn't happen, and I started thinking Why?
Maybe God saw how hard Saul's heart had become, and he knew that the chains enslaving Paul's heart could only be broken by Christ's fiery first-hand appearance.
Whatever the reason, God knew what to do ... at just the right time and in just the right place. And as a result Saul, the greatest persecutor of Christians on the planet became Paul, the greatest apostle to the world.
Because of what he had seen, Paul believed ... and believed with a faith that most of us can only pretend to imagine. Which is exactly what makes it so easy to be envious of Paul's experience: if I only I could have seen what Paul had seen. I want faith like Paul's.
On the front end, Paul's brand of faith seems easier than living with the kind of lukewarm day-to-day "I hope God's on my side" religion most folks know best. But then, even standing face to face before Rome's emperor and realizing his life was on the line, Paul could not change his mind, make excuses or deny his faith ... and paid the ultimate price as a result.
Why?
Because of what he had seen: before he came face to face with the emperor, Paul came face to face with the living, resurrected Christ.
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Is Christ's appearance in the flesh really what it'd take to give me rock-solid faith like Paul's? Or if there's an obstacle in the way of 100% faith and assurance, what can it be?
Nothing, but me.
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On a pragmatic and theologically comparative level, there's one critical difference separating Christianity from every other religion, faith and belief system ever devised: whether its disciples profess faith in Buddha, Mohammed, "the brotherhood of mankind," Darwinism, reincarnation, space aliens, or even if they're atheists who deny God's existence, the common point of reference (and value system) rests upon "what I think is true."
Christianity is different because faith resides not within thought, philosophical examination, theological reasoning or "what ought to be" ... but upon the resurrection: Jesus's disciples' lives were changed not by what they thought, but by what they had seen.
As believers and followers of Christ the resurrection proves God's word is true; Christ's victory over the grave is our assurance that God keeps his word.
No other faith promises that kind of rock-solid, 100% guaranteed, God's-word-is- his-promise assurance.
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Because our hope is through Christ's resurrection, faith cannot include "maybe," "sort of," almost" or "I think so."
Jesus wasn't halfway free of sin, wasn't "sort of" crucified, wasn't "maybe" resurrected nor did he "almost" ascend into Heaven. Neither did he halfway, maybe, or sort of promise us eternal life.
Which is why halfway, maybe and sort-of faith is no faith at all.
Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."
- John 20:29
